Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Rules of Disengagement...

So the issue with breaking up while living in NYC is that you probably live with your significant other.  It's tough to justify spending that much money on an apartment that you never actually stay at, so most couples get a place together.  No big deal...... until you break up 5 months before the lease ends with no real way of getting out of the lease early.  AWKWARD!

So yes, the DJ and I are no more.  I really thought I'd be more upset, but to be honest?  I'm good.  And I feel like a cold hearted bitch for feeling that way.  I haven't cried, although maybe that will happen later on.  But I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason.  Look where this relationship has gotten me!

I moved to NYC, a dream of mine for... like... EVER!

I started my own Events company, which is AMAZING!

I landed a great job that I no longer have to leave in 5 months to move to DC with him!

I have made some great friends and contacts!

I am even closer to figuring out what the hell it is I want.

So to be honest, I got a lot more than I'm losing.  I still love him, and I think we really could have been great together.  The issue is that I am very sensitive when it comes to lying and cheating and have zero tolerance when it comes anywhere near either of those things.  He is super insensitive to my feelings, and generally doesn't have any real feelings of his own. 

But now.  I have to live in an apartment for the next 5 months with this guy.  And last night?  He says "where am I sleeping?"  Ok, 2 years ago when we started dating I told him that no matter what, I would never kick him out on the couch.  And to be fair, I have no right to.  We both pay rent.  It's as much his room as it is mine.  And I sure as hell wasn't sleeping on the couch.  Plus, I don't want my very cool apartment to turn into a mess and the living room turned into a bedroom.  So I told him that I would be sleeping in the bed and he could sleep wherever he wanted to.  He opted for the bed.  Good!  Because that's not weird at all!

Funny story.  The pets have taken my side.  This might be the most heartbreaking part of the whole break up.  Puka will always be mine.  She always sleeps on my side of the bed.  I know what she wants just by the way she looks at me.  She's my cat, for better or worse. 

Maggie, the beloved rottweiler, is the DJ's.  Sort of.  I am generally the one to walk her, feed her and give her her medicine.  But technically she belongs to the DJ.  Maggie refused to go to bed with him last night, and instead opted for hanging out with me.  She doesn't listen to him anymore when he tells her to stop barking at the door.  But the minute I speak, she's listens up.  All she has to do is look at me and I know if it's potty time, if she's hungry, etc.  I can't imagine not having her to cuddle with and watch TV with and unwillingly share my lunch with.  I guess I have 5 months to get used to the idea?

But anyway, I now find myself in that weird "yeah I'm single, but I still share a bed with my ex.  Every night." Um.... huh?  So we'll see how long I can deal with that. 

If you have any advice, I'd love it.  I'm considering suing for ownership of Maggie, and then telling the DJ to just move home, but continue paying his half of the rent to just make life easier on all involved.  I doubt he'd go for that, but he really hates NYC so who knows?

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